Playing Offense!

A great analogy has been forming in my mind the past few months.  At our Stake's Zone conference in January, Elder Nemrow (the Sr. missionary who oversees all of the Sr. couples in our mission and who was just called as an Area Seventy) said something to the effect:  "We spend so much of our time playing defense.  We do so many things to try to keep the adversary out of our lives such as Internet filters, time locks on media etc. etc. --and we should. But we should also spend a great deal of time playing offense.  And missionary work is playing offense.  It naturally wards off the adversary."

So I've been thinking about playing offense versus defense.  Here are some thoughts I've had:  When we are just trying to cope with what life is throwing at us, we are playing defense.  When we don't have a plan, we fumble the ball.  When we take offense, we throw an interception.  When we speak unkindly, we don't get a first down.  Here are some other things I've thought of that put us on defense:  selfishness, pride, wasting time, procrastinating, thinking negative thoughts about ourselves or others, being unkind, not forgiving, blaming, taking things personally, allowing ourselves to be sidetracked, comparing ourselves to others etc. and etc.

On the other hand, offensive practices are things like having a plan, giving service, using time wisely, praying, attending the temple, forgiving, repenting, studying the scriptures, family history work, ministering, acting charitably, acting better than we feel like acting, taking responsibility for our problems etc.

So an application of that principle in my everyday life as a mother could look something like this:  a day spent on defense--I don't begin my scripture study with prayer and I just read to read.  No objective is focused on and met.  I don't have a breakfast plan, the kids wake up very hungry then grump or cry because they don't like the default breakfast of toast or oatmeal.  This wears on me because I haven't geared up sufficiently spiritually so I do not exercise patience and act grumpy as well.  Defense!  When I get them off to school and I have so many things to do, but because the morning was a bit wearing I tell myself I need a slight break so I look at blogs and then the news etc. and soon much of my time to accomplish many things is used up.  So when the kids come home from school, I try to squeeze in my things while they need me.  I try to ward off their needs by telling them to get to work.  They don't respond to that well so they get frustrated with me and can't focus on their homework. I don't need to go on. . .

But if I have a plan and I follow it, and if, into part of that plan is time to meet individual needs as they arise and to respond to those needs with love, I am playing offense.  If I have a plan for the day and stick to it as much as I can,then, when (not if!) something unexpected happens that throws me into defense, I'm able to have the emotional stamina to get to work and figure a way to get back on offense.

The great offensive coordinator (Heavenly Father via the Spirit) calls the plays for the offense!  The other way, I'm listening way too much to the great defensive coordinator (Satan) and that never turns out well. Chandler explained to us this week that defense is what is trying to get you to not accomplish your goal.  We read about Alma this week slaying Amlici.  I pictured Alma fighting a bit defensively until he prayed to have his life spared so he could be an instrument in Heavenly Father's hands and then he was able to take control of the situation and play offense until the goal was attained.  (Note to self: praying for other people and to be of service are GREAT ways to play offensively!)  So my advice to myself this week:  Play offense! And as soon as I slip into defense, take responsibility for my part and get back on offense!

Temporal things also work out better when I play offense:  budgeting, meal planning, housework are a few examples.  For example, when an unexpected financial wrench is thrown, I can be thrown onto defense trying to figure out how to cope with that expense.  However, if I have a fund to cover those kinds of things, getting back on offense is pretty easy, If there is not a plan, I could stay on defense too long, which won't take long to wear me down in other areas.   I've noticed for myself, that if I stay on defense in one area of my life too long, it is a domino effect in other areas.  That makes getting back on offense more of a mountain than just a simple switch of gears.

So here's my note to myself:  Stay on offense!  Counsel with the Great Offensive Coordinator often! Plan and prepare so when I lose the ball, I am able to have the emotional stamina to pull myself back into offense.  Thank you Elder Nemrow for great food for thought!