Avoiding Problems=Self Reliance

I loved the Visiting Teaching message this month. (If you haven 't read it, maybe you want to read it first so this post makes sense.) My little brain just wrapped itself around all those thoughts until many connections were made and they settled into a satisfactory understanding and a greater desire for application. I especially loved Sister Beck's quote--this part really jumped out at me: "Each of us has a responsibility to try to avoid problems before they happen and to learn to overcome challenges before they occur." Hmmm. . . avoid problems?? I started thinking: Well, I don't want to be hit by oncoming traffic so I drive on the right side of the road. . . .I don't put a cup of cooking oil in every dish because I don't want to deal with that kind of a cholesterol problem--and I want my family to eat it. . . . I don't want to burn myself when taking things out of the oven so I use hot pads. . . . I don't want to be sluggish so I don't eat an entire bag of dried fruit at a time. . . .but it seemed more important than that.

I don't want to be rushed in the morning, so I set the alarm clock (well, actually, Tom sets it)--and get up when it goes off. I want to avoid tooth decay, so I brush and floss my teeth. I don't want to have a crazy Sunday morning so I make sure we have clean socks and underwear on Saturday. I want my kids to obey the commandments so I take them to church and have FHE. I don't want Greta to fall down the stairs so I put up a gate. We don't want the creditors to call so we pay our bills. I don't want grumpy kids in the evening so I cook dinner. I don't want to clean up food off the carpet so we only eat food over the tile. We want clean dishes for the next meal so we do dishes. I wash my hands in hopes that I won't get sick. I don't want to feel depressed at the end of the day so I can't spend all day reading blogs or wasting time in other ways. etc. etc.

Then the thought presented itself that when I avoid problems I am more self reliant because I don't have to spend emotional energy dealing with problems from mundane things. When I'm emotionally stable, I can better deal with bigger problems that present themselves. Then I realized that when I have emotional energy I am more spiritually in tuned. Elder Hales states in the message that the reason we want to become self reliant is so we can emulate the Savior and give service. And President Romney then explained that we have to be self reliant in order to gain salvation. It all started piecing itself together in my mind. Very good things to act upon, change and tweak to see how many problems I have now that could be avoided. (like how clutter breeds clutter) All of this is good food for thought as a household manger and a mother who definitely wants to raise self reliant kids.

And then I got thinking about the For Strength for Youth pamphlet--that whole book is the perfect tool to avoid many major problems in our lives! It is a problem prevention manual! If I can apply the principles and teach my children to do that also, think of all the problems we would avoid and how much more able we would be to give and be of service.

A few examples I've thought of:

**When I was a young married mom, one bit of advice my mom gave me was to always go to bed with the kitchen clean. I still think of that advice often. When I apply it, I'm not drained emotionally first thing in the morning because that load of work is not on my list. And if I don't have to deal with emotional drainage first thing in the morning, my day is so much better. So when I organize myself and prepare every needful thing (which was one of the scriptures in the lesson) I can avoid the problem of emotional drainage first thing in the morning. That seems very needful to me.

**In my previous marriage I was always so emotionally drained because we just couldn't seem to avoid many preventable problems (creditors calling. . . services being turned off just to name a few). Because of that, spiritual enlightenment was rare--as was the service I was able to give. I was so emotionally drained I had nothing left to give to others let alone even think about them. Elder Hales says "Our ability to serve is increased or diminished by the level of our self-reliance." I've experienced that so I know it's true.

**When my kids stay on top of their school work--checking their grades every day and getting assignments done before the due date they avoid a lot of problems. They don't have to crunch or cram or hope enough extra credit is available. AND (here's another perk besides the blessing of avoiding problems) they feel good about themselves because they've worked hard. Seems like a win win to me.

Which is also what happens to me also when I avoid problems. It is a win win. I'm going to try harder to apply these principles in more areas. How thankful I am for wise leaders who point me to directions I need to go.