Bogs, Mire and Love

I've been feeling a bit bogged down today. . . nothing significant. . . just feeling the busy of 5 kids. . . .Primary's feeling a bit heavy right now. . . .I'm a little run down because I'm not getting enough sleep. . . .I've got a few too many nagging piles of clutter. . . .just regular stuff. But I decided I needed a little pick-me-up so I turned on a Mormon Tabernacle Choir CD tonight after I got Tessa to bed (all the boys in the house are at Father's and Sons). The CD shuffler put my all-time-favorite hymn, Redeemer of Israel, first on the list. As it played my memory went back as to why this has become my favorite hymn. Then the tears came because the message so neatly packaged in that song sent me the same comfort today.

I was newly divorced and feeling so lonely and the weight of single motherhood hung heavily. I wondered what my future held but at the same time I couldn't see too far passed the towering mountain right in front of me that required me to be caretaker, breadwinner, cook, maid, counselor etc. to three young children all while my injured heart still had open wounds. One night during that time, I had a MT CD in and Redeemer of Israel came on. The 4th verse spoke to me as never before: As children of Zion good tidings for us, The tokens already appear. Fear not and be just for the kingdom is ours, the hour of redemption is near. The thought came so powerfully that I had seen the Lord's hand in too many instances to ignore (the tokens already appear) and I needed to not be fearful or even worry. The Lord would take care of me and in His own due time provide redemption. In the mean time He would make my burdens light. It was such a powerful, shaping experience. I could not deny the love that Heavenly Father had for me.

So as I relived a portion of that era in my mind tonight, I couldn't help but count up the wonderful blessings that have been added. I get to teach another little baby to walk. I get to witness an exuberant three year old yell out the back door then report "My echo isn't working very well." I get to be a stay at home mom and I have a wonderful husband who supports me in that. I get to be inspired daily and experience kindnesses by many wonderful people in this ward. (And I'm lucky one of them is still my friend after a child, who will remain nameless, peed on her carpet.) And that is only to name so very few of blessings that have been added. . . All of these blessings add to my testimony that Heavenly Father truly loves His children. I can trust Him to lighten my load whatever it is. The tokens and evidences are abundant!

Life is ever changing and is such a balance to keep emotionally afloat during trying times and good times. But I'm thankful Heavenly Father still sends little reminders that He is keenly aware of me, even when I'm bogged down and sinking in my own mire.