In the Quiet Heart. . .

Last week I had a very strong impression that I needed to do something on my blog about “in the quiet heart is hidden sorrow that the eye can't see". But the flow of ideas came to an abrupt stop right there. I mentioned it to Tom and he said in a surprised tone, “What are you going to do with that?” I didn’t know then and I still don’t, but the impression came even stronger today . . . so here I am, (even though I wasn’t going to blog today because I’ve got too much to do).

“In the quiet heart is hidden sorrow that they eye can’t see”. . . .Those words are ones that go through my head often. I think I can say I know what that is like. I lived so many years where I kept many hurtful things quietly in my heart. Car repossessions. Wage garnishments. A lying husband. Home foreclosure. Bounced checks. Unending creditor phone calls. Judgments. Winter nights without heat. Those are just a few but enough to make a point. I didn’t tell anyone about those things. I carried them quietly by myself. Such a burden!! There were many times my prayers were along this line (to quote another hymn) “Master, with anguish of spirit I bow in my grief today, The depths of my sad heart are troubled. Oh, waken and save, I pray! Torrents of sin and of anguish Sweep o’er my sinking soul, And I perish! I perish! Dear Master. Oh, hasten and take control!” I think of those dark years now and truly wonder how I didn’t just crawl under my bed to die. I know I felt like it many times.

(So what?? I’m wondering that at this point too!!)

Well, eventually troubled seas are calmed; the winds and the waves will obey His will. God truly desires us to be happy and to be at peace. And if we put our life into His hands, we will find happiness and peace, even if it is not the way we envisioned the storms being calmed. My storms were not calmed the way I had hoped at the time. I wanted that marriage healed, but that wasn't the answer. And like most people after hard things are over, perspective and gratitude come. Looking back I'm so grateful I wasn't granted those things I prayed for with my limited view--they would not have produced the kind of appreciation and happiness I enjoy now.

Another thing I'm truly thankful for are the lessons I learned, especially how much quiet hearts can hurt and yearn and desire to do better, but unable to because of things that bind down. Everyone wants to be living up to their fullest potential and to feel at peace. I truly believe that. We all are Heavenly Father’s children and have divine urgings to improve ourselves and find happiness and peace. But sometimes burdens get in our way and things bind us down preventing us to take care of those most important things. Everyone from time to time has quiet burdens in their heart; sometimes they are bigger than others. It is just part of life. So I guess my point is that if you have a wounded heart right now, hang on, things will get better and for the rest of us, who are having a reprieve from a sorrowing heart, let us do what the next verse of the song says: “To the wounded and the weary, I would show a gentle heart”. Unfortunately, I forget that charge too easily. I need to remember to give the benefit of the doubt, to withhold a judgmental thought or word, to listen compassionately or just to smile at someone who might need a lift. I’m committing to do better!

(and so sorry to write a novel. . . if you read to the end you should get a prize!)

ETA: I'm not super comfortable sharing all of this. . . just really felt like I should.