Sabbath Day Observance talk

For my and my family's future reference and for a few of my friends who have asked, here is my talk from today.  I can't claim this to be my own.  I had so much divine help.

I am humbled by this assignment to share the attention in a meeting where the sacred emblems of the sacrament are administered. It is also humbling to seek revelation to know what to say and how to present it in such a setting. While this is a difficult task, having revelatory experiences, especially where the Lord is generous and very specific, is always a blessing. So for that, I am thankful.

I am here not as a role model on Sabbath day observance, but because I've had more time to learn about and digest this renewed focus than most. As was mentioned a few weeks ago, this direction given to us by the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve was presented to the Seventy the days before April conference. Elder Terry, our Area Seventy was present and then given the charge to take it to the stakes he oversees. The format for the presentation was the Stake President from each stake and a sister auxiliary leader to come together in a roundtable setting to learn and discuss these principles. Scriptures were assigned to be studied in anticipation for discussion. Two trainings were given by Elder Terry with this format. Because of special and unusual circumstances, I was asked to attend the both trainings with Elder Terry and President Miller. I also attended Stake Council one time when it was presented to stake leaders. (Regrettably I was out of town for the other.) It was a very unique way to learn about the Sabbath Day and the Sacrament with many men and women who are very experienced in the Gospel of Jesus Christ and where we were invited to share in open conversation our thoughts and feelings. It has been life changing for me.

A few months ago, I attended our Stake's first zone conference. Elder Nemrow, who since has been called as an Area Seventy, but then was a counselor in the mission presidency spoke. He said something to this effect: "We spend so much of our time playing defense. We do so many things to try to keep the adversary out of our lives such as Internet filters, time locks on media etc. etc. --and we should. But we should also spend a great deal of time playing offense. And missionary work is playing offense. It naturally wards off the adversary."

I've thought a lot about playing offense versus defense in life. If I only play defense, my best hope is only a draw. If I never get the ball, I never will get a chance to score. If I never act, I can only be acted upon. Elder Holland said speaking of the scriptures in Ephesians about putting on the whole armor of God: “In that description of preparing for spiritual battle, I have been impressed that most of the protection the Lord outlines for us there is somewhat defensive. The revelation speaks of breastplates and shields and helmets, all of which are important and protective but which leave us, in a sense, without an actual weapon yet. Are we only to be on the defensive? Are we simply to ward off blows and see it through and never be able, spiritually speaking, to strike a blow? No. We are supposed to advance in this and win a battle that started in heaven long ago. So we need some kind of even chance on the offense, and we are given it. You are given it. The weapon that is mentioned, the thing that allows us to actually do battle with the “darkness of this world,” to use Paul’s phrase, is “the sword of the Spirit.”

That is what I feel like this call to focus on....to better observe.... give greater attention to Sabbath Day observance is all about. True, it is a way to help members stay strong in the gospel. Yes, it is a plan to help avoid dissension and a way to strengthen our family, but truly, it is a call for each of us to pick up our spiritual swords and LEARN to use them. It is a great opportunity to build up our own spiritual strength so we can be of great use in the kingdom of God. So we can meet daily challenges offensively. This is the way---use the sacrament to build spiritual strength. Use the Sabbath day to build spiritual muscle.

Having the sword of the Spirit brings power. We acquire power in our lives through covenants. Covenants are activated by ordinances. As we use covenants to gain power, we become stronger and more able to meet daily challenges week in and week out. We have an opportunity every 7 days—every 168 hours to receive greater power in our life through the ordinance of the Sacrament. This is most sacred! Covenants are empowering.

Originally, the roll out for this training was to be completed by mid September, but because of a great spiritual urgency the Brethren felt, deadlines for trainings to be completed were moved up. With the nature and format of this training, that was a huge undertaking for the Seventy and Stake Presidents. But as I went through the trainings, I could feel for myself of the great spiritual urgency that it is. Our prophets have sought divine guidance for us—you and me. Elder Terry mentioned a bit of process the Brethren went through to arrive at this great need for our day. I testify of its great spiritual urgency. I know there is great power in applying these principles.

President Russell M. Nelson made a prophetic promise that I think is very powerful. He said that if members of the church focus to observe the Sabbath Day, the faith of the entire world will increase. Think of that promise. One insignificant person such as I with my small every day acts amidst in the scope of world's economic exchanges, Internet interactions, political power struggles, differences and conflicts .. can influence the world's faith for good? I find that empowering!

Something that was talked about in all three training sessions I attended was that the chapel is an ordinance room. A room to activate the Atonement in our lives. A room of cleansing. A room of revelation. A room to receive answers to prayers. A room to feel relief of burdens. A room to repair broken spirits. A room for healing. A room to receive power. A room where the Holy Ghost, a member of the Godhead, visits frequently. This is a sacred, sacred room! All of these things are activated for each of us personally by our partaking of the Sacrament with prepared hearts. To quote Julie B. Beck: “Now that is influence. That is power!”

One thing that I liked from Sister Wixom's presentation during the training was suggesting that children have a say in what they can contribute to the family's Sabbath day worship. I loved that because that brings ownership for them. It also gives parents opportunities to take our children where they are and allow them to start where they are in their understanding and move forward. As families council together over the years, the things children are willing to give as their sign to God will increase and over time bring great power to their lives.

In the past, I've largely neglected the counsel to have Family Councils. I can see now that doing so has deprived my family from blessings that could have been ours had I been more obedient. But I have repented. (That is one of the greatest things about life!!!) One thing I did to start out was labeled a notebook so we could keep record. We've discussed numerous things in our councils, and they have greatly benefited our family. I want to share just a few things that have been suggested that our family can do in regards of Sabbath Day observance.

We had someone say:

*Speak only in whispers when in the chapel

*Listen

*Prepare our minds

*Sing the songs

*Attend all of our meetings

*Read a story from family history at dinner

*Everyone help with dishes

*Evaluate our own choices on the Sabbath—everyone decide our own sign to send to Heavenly Father.

Historically speaking, Sunday dinner has been a big affair for us. Good food is a natural gathering agent and in trying to nurture wonderful feelings on the Sabbath day I've invested much into Sunday meals. But honestly, it has felt like work. After hearing President Nelson's talk on Sabbath day observance in April conference and learning that my behavior was sending a sign to God, I decided that I must rethink my Sunday meal plans. Since then, I've moved my meal prep for that meal to Saturday. It has made my Sabbath feel much more worshipful. That has opened up much more time for me to do family history and that has been a great blessing. We've had many miracles open up in our family history since we have started observing the Sabbath day more carefully.

One thing I've learned, and maybe you have learned this too—families aren't perfect and in our family, the parents especially are not. So I find myself having to recommit and refocus each and every week. Some weeks we do much better than others, but I can testify that even small, consistent effort brings results.

One final tidbit from my notes from the training that repeatedly comes back to me is that the Sabbath is to be a delight— but it is an acquired taste, especially for children. We need to give ourselves and our children time, practice and consistent attempts before it will become truly delight. We can't eat the delightful fruit until we've planted the seed and nourished it a great deal. Tom reminds me often that example is the most powerful teacher so I shouldn't be frustrated if desired results don't occur for many years!

When Nephi went back to Jerusalem to get the brass plates, it wasn't under a let's-see-if-we-can-get-the-plates mentality.He had real intent to obtain them. That meant that he was willing to do hard things and try repeatedly to accomplish the task. As we consider this important, urgent, prophetic directive to improve Sabbath day observance, let us do so with real intent—willing to try repeatedly and willing to do hard things to accomplish the task. This could be something that blesses our lives and our family's life just as much as the brass plates blessed Lehi's family.

Preparing for the Sacrament with heartfelt intent and submissive hearts, we keep ourselves playing offense. Using the ordinance of the Sacrament to free ourselves from bondage is the greatest blessing available to us. Keeping the entire Sabbath day holy gives us a very powerful spiritual sword. I testify of the urgency of this focus and the power it brings us.

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Since I was to be the last speaker, this portion was just in case I had extra time. (I didn't.)

I want to share a few notes I took from the trainings because I think knowledge is power. They have been very thought provoking and formative for me.

lWhat am I doing to make the my covenants and the Sacrament a treasure in my life?

lHow I prepare and sanctify myself for the Sacrament is a sign to the Lord. The sign I send to the the Lord about how I feel about Him and His holy day is the same sign I send to those in my family. Children are very observant.

lEach week I have an opportunity to covenant anew—to make a different covenant than I did the week before because my light and knowledge and experiences have increased so I am covenanting with my newer understandings and life experiences. It is not stagnant so I can grow. (Just yesterday I learned from a friend about the word dwindle. It is used in the Book of Mormon quite a bit and often is used in the context of 'dwindling in unbelief'. The opposite of dwindling is improving. We have to be doing one or the other.)

lThe Sacrament is a celebration. Would the Savior call my behavior on the Sabbath day a celebration of His Atonement?

lI have a personal obligation to have a spiritual experience during the Sacrament.

lThe Sabbath is a symbol of my passover. My sign, showing my desire to be passed over, my sacrifice on the door asking the destroying angel to pass me by.

lThe scriptures day "Remember the Sabbath Day to keep it holy". It doesn't say 'keep the Sabbath Day holy'. It is more than that.  It implies that the Sabbath Day must be remembered more than just on that day in order to keep it holy. In order to keep it holy, planning and preparation need to take place.

lThis is not a one then done. Let discussions, thoughts, actions etc. continue through the day. Let the power follow me through the week. Let discussions continue over the weeks and months and years. Let this directive bring me power.

Love This

Primary music is so powerful.  In many ways it has changed and influenced my life for good.   I have so much more that I could say about this, but for now, this will suffice.  We have watched this video and listened to this over and over.  It truly has touched my girls.  I'm so thankful for the influence Primary music has had in my life.

Love.

Tucked in Tessa's 'Favorite Things about Second Grade' booklet, amongst bits and pieces of book celebrations and science experiments and friends and field trip memories, I found this:

Love.

Time Warp

The last week of April I was having a conversation with a friend.  I said something like this "My month of March looked so clear at the beginning, but it filled up to the point of craziness."  I didn't think anything of it, but that night in my prayer, I just started giggling.  March??  It was the end of April!  What was I saying??  In so many ways I still feel like I haven't experienced January and February of this year yet either.  Time has just become so warped.  Now here we are almost the middle of May and I often feel bewildered about what time it is, what day it is, but mostly what month it is.  With that said, I'm going to try to get a few very dated posts finished up. I fully recognize they are dated, but I want the information recorded here for the kids.  

In the same vein, Caleb has been out almost a year and I'm astounded it has been that long already.  We got to talk to him on Saturday and that was great.  He's doing well.  He's serving in the office right now as the referral coordinator/recorder and loving spending so much time with President and Sister Lovell.  He is getting a new mission president at the end of June so he doesn't know how long he'll be there.  He loves it, but is anxious to get back to doing real missionary work.  Here are a few pictures from our call:

The message box on the screen was us communicating with Cache trying to get joined in to our conversation.  We finally got him on and that was great!

Family Photos

Silly, I know.  But one of my biggest issues with the overlap of my missionaries was family pictures.  I needed to send some with Caleb that didn't have Greta looking like a toddler.  Yet, I didn't want to get new pictures and not hang them on my wall. . .  but I didn't want family pictures hanging on my wall without Cache in them.  So we did family pictures twice this year.  Only one person complained about it and even that, in the end, didn't kill him.  So life is good.   And we just have two versions of family pictures for the year.  We got lots of cute ones, so I was very happy.  Here are a few:

Just realized I duplicated one picture in the collages. And I resized some of them wrong so there is pixielation...Oops! 

And now about a year later, none of them adorn my wall.  Maybe some day...  I'm hoping to escape the time warp fairly soon.

Greta

My sweet little shadow started kindergarten.  Sad.  Yet happy too.  She is LOVING kindergarten and is ready for school everyday (even wearing her backpack) before Tessa is ready--and Greta's school starts an hour and 15 minutes later than Tessa's.  Even a few months into it, she is still so excited to go every single day.  She told me all summer that she wouldn't miss me, but she would give me a kiss goodbye every day because I would need it because I would miss her.  She was right.  It's sad to send her to school.

This sweet girl has many people asking to her home.  Even complete strangers like dance teacher's sisters, techs at the eye doctor and hair stylists want her.  A cute story from a few years ago that her dance teacher told me last spring.  It was picture day at dance class and Miss Mindee's sister was there to take photos.  At one point in the session, they had the girls posed for the dance just waiting for the music to begin.  However, they could't get the music to play.  It took them a few minutes during which all of the three year olds had begun to run around and get a bit crazy.  They were both huddled by the sound equipment trying to work it out and then finally they got it and they both turned around to get the girls back into position and there was Greta still poised and ready to go.  It melted both of them.  It is so typical of her. So sweet.

Last spring at a routine eye appointment they caught her little eye wandering a bit.  It was causing her vision to not be equal and compromised her depth perception (none of which, I noticed. . .).  The remedy was to patch one hour a day.  She was super diligent about it and would often wear it well beyond an hour because she did not want to have to wear a patch to kindergarten.  At her follow up appointment for that issue, she had improved greatly, but still was recommended to patch to strengthen her weak eye.  Also at that appointment, she was diagnosed with Fourth Nerve Palsy.  Basically it is a weakened nerve that as it continues to get weaker will cause her to have little control over her eye so it will wander up.  We could start see this occur within the year, but could also take a decade or so to manifest itself enough to warrant intervention.  The intervention is prism glasses and then when it gets bad enough, a surgery in which they will weaken her other three nerves in order to even them out.  Even though I could get myself all worked up about aspects of this (teasing kids, surgeries going wrong, long term vision etc.), I'm really just thankful to live in a day and age when she can get vision help.  A half a century earlier, she would be blind by now and having a much more difficult life.  (Update 5-10-15:  She was such a trooper wearing her eye patches that as of our last check up, she had strengthened her weak eye enough that she doesn't have to patch for the time being.  In fact, her last appointment, her weak eye was seeing stronger than her good eye.  BTW, This is not related to the Fourth Nerve Palsy, that is a completely separate condition.)

Greta was the Kindergarten of the Week!  She was thrilled especially since she got a package of Skittles.  (She's got quite the sweet tooth!  I could bribe her to do almost anything with a treat.)

The dinner/breakfast table goes something like this:  

Tom:  Chandler (or anyone else), will you please say the prayer?

Instantly after that invitation is extended, Greta starts the prayer. Every meal, every day for weeks (now months).  The rest of us might just forget how to pray! 

She is such a sweet and caring girl.  One time we were at my mom's house and peeling potatoes and struggling a bit with the potato peeler.  She whispered to me, "Grandma needs a new potato peeler, but we won't tell her that because it would make her feel bad."

She LOVES to-do lists!!  I'm always amazed at how much she loves to check off things.  I love that she loves to accomplish things and see what she needs to do written out on a list.  

Greta is just such a delight!

Tessa

This little girl is growing up and it is so fun to see.  I'm sad the little girl is leaving, but since she was a very draining young girl, a little more maturity has been very welcome.  She is a delight!

The girls write in journals every night (they dictate to us).  On occasion, a few gems are written.  Here are a few of Tessa's:

4-15-13:  Today I was nice to Greta and I love Greta and flowers and I love hearts and I love Greta's Pandy bear and Beary and Sheepily and I love Greta's flip flops, but most importantly, I love Greta!!

5-29-13:  I'll scream and shout and let it all out!!!!  Today we are moving classrooms!

6-14-13:  I am sleeping on the top bunk. I have a wiggly jiggly wiggly tooth.  I am glad it is not my sweet tooth.

9-13-13:  Today I had Fun Friday and it was so freaking fun the first time!  I will love it better next time, maybe.

10-4-13:  Today I got my new pet named. . . .I haven't named her yet.  I went to school and I played with Emma.  (Not sure what that was about because we don't have a pet!)

10-6-13:  Dear readers.  This is what I did today.  Today was Caleb's birthday.  Yesterday and today I watched conference and colored in my new coloring book.  Close quote.  What does close quote mean?  (She was listening to parts of conference at least!)

12-3-13:  Coconut.  I want coconut.  I love coconuts!! I love hot chocolate too.  There's a scary bird up there.  The end.

12-4-13:  When you are bigger you can swallow bigger pieces of carrot because your neck is bigger.

1-12-14:  (sung to the Farmer in the Dell)
Today I went to church.Today I went to church.   Heigh Ho the Derry-O! Today I went to church!

I learned about the gospel. I learned about the gospel. Heigh Ho the Derry-O! I learned about the gospel!

I got a little sucker. I got a little sucker. Heigh Ho the Derry-O! I got a little sucker.

I made a maze. I made a maze. Heigh Ho the Derry-O! I made a maze.

I got a sticker. I got a sticker. Heigh Ho the Derry-O! I got a sticker.

I went home. I went home. Heigh Ho the Derry-O! I went home.

And then I ate dinner. And then I ate dinner. Heigh Ho the Derry-O! And then I ate dinner.

The dinner stands alone. The dinner stands alone. Heigh Ho the Derry-O! The dinner stands alone!

5-9-14:  Greta has to wear eye patches now.  She is very brave.  I don't think I could be that brave.  She is a great sister.

5-18-14:  (singing) I'm so glad we have Father's Day.  Glad as I can be!  Clap my hands and shout for joy and do a happy dance.  Put my arms around his neck when we have Father's day!  Hug him when it's Father's day and give him a great big kiss too!

6-20-14  Today it was Temple Day.  And it was fun.  We touched the temple and we took pictures by it.  It made me feel happy.  I had my doll with me.  I want to make covenants there someday.

7-26-14:  Peek-a-boo.  Hello.  I had an ice cream and I got it from Macey's and I got new school clothes. And I have 9 clothes, but I still want 13 more.  And then I would have 22 school clothes and then I won't need to whine about school clothes.

8-23-14:  We went to the Ogden temple open house.  I felt the Spirit in the Tabernacle while watching the movie.  I couldn't stop smiling.  Then we went out for Japanese food.  I loved the sushi, tofu and shrimp tempura!!!!!

9-6-14:  We went to Daddy Daughter camp out last night and it was fun because I like Daddy Daughter Camp outs 'cause they are totally awesome.  Boys were there but not from our ward and one boy said 'camping is only for boys'.  That's weird.

Tessa also started piano lessons in January (2014).  She LOVES it!!!  Our cute and delightful neighbor is her teacher so it is such a win win situation.  Tessa really works hard for her and it is super duper convenient.  She loves music so this is so good for her (even on the days she doesn't think so!).

And she started 2nd grade!  I'm not sure how that happened, but here we are and it's been great.  She's got another great neighbor for her teacher who is working magic on her.  We are totally impressed (and delighted) with what Mrs. Cummings is getting out of her.

Jerry and Carolyn's 50th Anniversary

A few weekends ago we celebrated Jerry and Carolyn's 50th wedding anniversary.  They were married in June, but this was a day we most of us could all get together.  Their kids knew they wouldn't like a large formal gathering so they planned a day where everyone who was able could attend the temple.  We were able to do endowments, sealings and baptisms.  Afterward, we went to a church and had a meal and a program.

There is just so much love in this family!  I told Tom afterwards that I wanted to be just like Jerry and Carolyn!  They have been such remarkable influences in all that they have done that it is hard to express the value of their example.  I'm so happy to be part of this family and to be married to someone raised by these two!  I'm blessed every day because of them.

Photos by Jim Jackson

Teacher Appreciation

I've missed a few years of door decorating for teacher appreciation week.  And this year I decided that life was always going to be busy and I just needed to figure out a way to make it work.  The theme was "Hats off to you".  That was challenging for my mind.  I just couldn't figure out how to make something around hats work, without saying 'hats off to you'.  So I spent a few weeks mulling things over and doing searches for many combinations of ideas to try to get something to click.  We came up with an idea for Tessa's focusing on the many different hats teachers wear.

Greta's however was so hard to figure out because she gave me an extra requirement:  It HAD to have a panda on it.  There are many more people out there smarter than me who could have come up with something better and faster, but it had me stumped all the way to last Monday night (doors had to be hung on Friday).  Normally, that might have been enough time, but I had a crammed packed week.

On Tuesday I worked hard to carve out time to project images for Greta's design up on a poster paper. But it didn't happen.  Late that night, Tom recognized my overwhelming situation and jumped in to help me.  As he rolled out the paper to start projecting the images, we realized the paper was far too short.  Delay.

On Wednesday, I procured more paper and again worked to find a small space of time to start tracing.  Early evening gave me a little spot and I got to work.  Just after I finished the lettering, the projector bulb burned out.  I tried to find a place locally who might have such a thing, but we are talking an overhead projector....  At that point, I began to recognize what was happening.  I had an important meeting on Thursday evening where I was presenting and opposition was being permitted to see if I would be distracted and allow myself to be overwhelmed and unable to have the help of the spirit like I desperately needed.  I immediately knelt down and sought for help for all that was on my plate. The solution that came for the posters was to text my friend to see if the library had an overhead projector.  They did, so that solved that.

Thursday morning I went to get my hair cut first thing (that took forever!).  That only left a little window of time to get the images traced before I had to pick Greta up from kindergarten.  I got Greta's finished and put Tessa's teacher's up and the library's overhead projector bulb burned out.  Really.  But since I was aware of what was happening, I breezed through that and chuckled at the comical chain of hang ups with this silly project.  Somehow in about 28 hours, I would be able to pull off Tessa's without the help of projected lettering, plus the coloring and line work on Greta's.  I was confident that somehow it would happen.

Friday morning was quite free other than an orthodontist appointment for Chandler (that too extraordinarily long...) but I still felt good about the amount of time I had.  I whipped Greta's out in a couple of hours.  Then came time for Tessa's.  And just when I needed it, an idea came to do a chalk board look with hers.  Then all I had to do was add the phone I had designed and printed as a poster earlier in the week.  Thankfully that all whipped out in about 20 minutes.  (I'll be remembering that method for other years for sure!) I'm truly thankful for divine help in everyday tasks and inconsequential things such as teacher's door decorations!

I really need to not be lazy and use another camera besides the one on my phone.  Blurry city!

This idea came from a teacher friend, Amy, a couple of decades ago.  She had done a bulletin board with this title.  In case you can't read it, The pigeon is going to wear his top hat to drive the bus because "they let pigeon's in top hats drive buses."  Gollie (from Bink and Gollie series) got the panda hat.  She will wear her's to China if Bink will go with her.  They may have a panda bonanza while there.  Scaredy Squirrel will wear his hat to the unknown, as long as there are no killer bees, germs or sharks.  Mrs. Walker will wear her hat to teach kindergarten because she gets to influence lives for good.  

In case you can't read it:  iPhone Mrs. Cummings for everything.  She has an app (hat) for that!

We all thought of many types of hats teachers wear in a day and made app images for them.  Tessa helped me with this quite a bit.  She loves the computer work.  Click to more detail.

Love these girls and I'm glad I took an opportunity to make them really happy.

Fear Not!

The other day I listened to BYU-I former President and newly called Elder Kim Clark's final devotional given at BYU-I.  something he said caught my attention powerfully. Here is a loose quote "The natural man looks forward with the eye of fear and only sees failure and darkness and pain.  Fear does not come upon us slowly.  It springs up quickly and can cloud our vision and perspective.  Fear can cause us to react to our trials with resentment, denial, anger and self pity.  Fear does not go away easily.  It reoccurs relentlessly and it resists our efforts to overcome it."

When he said "Fear does not come upon us slowly.  It springs up quickly... " my first thought was a shout  "Fear is force then!"   And then my mind just kept shouting that.  Fear is a force!  Wow. Satan's plan--to use force to compel us to actions he wants-- in essence, in this missive, to force us how to feel.  I looked up force and here is what I found:  A type of coercion or compulsion.  To make someone do something against their will.  Synonyms:  compel, coerce, make, impel, pressure, push, oppression, harassment, intimidation, threats, arm twisting, bullying tactics.  Those are interesting words to put with Satan's desire to fill us with fear--to bully us into resentment, denial, anger and self pity.

Elder Clark reminded us that Jesus Christ gave us a commandment to 'Fear not'.  (See Genesis 15:1, Deuteronomy 1:21, Joshua 8:1, Judges 6:10, 2 Kings 6:16, Luke 5:10, D&C 6:36, D&C 136:17 to name a few.)

So just the next day I was given an opportunity to try to push back fear.  It was so inconsequential, but in the end, I learned a great deal.

In the morning Tessa was moving quite slowly and I was concerned she was going to make her ride to school have to wait for her (heaven forbid...).  Soon my concern became a bit of a fearful worry.  I recognized the fear that was creeping in and so I got to work on myself. Self talk went something like this:  It is okay!!!  If she made her wait one day, it's going to matter so little.  Tomorrow it wouldn't even be remembered.  If she is so slow, I can take her myself.  Not a worry.  Etc.

Well, I was still unable to get rid of my fear.  And that bothered me all day.  I had new knowledge and I was trying to apply it and I had been unsuccessful.  I was so disappointed with myself.

That night in my prayers I worked on that instance--praying for forgiveness for allowing fear to reign in my mind and also help to understand why I had not been successful when I felt I understood the principle.  The thought came to me with quite a stir in my heart "Did you think you had the ability to push back fear with your own strength and knowledge?  That is impossible."

Then my mind opened up to a beautiful understanding.  The image I have above my kitchen sink came to mind.  It is a picture of the Savior pulling Peter out of the water. Peter had started sinking because he became fearful.  Of course! -- I cannot lift myself up from being pushed down by a bully-tactic of Satan.  The water is too deep and impossible to stand on without the help of the Master of Ocean and Earth and Skies.  He can and will immediately lift me from my fear (and the consequences of my fear).(See Matthew 14:31)  Another thing that occurred to me was that the Savior did not and maybe could not because of the laws of faith, rescue Peter without Peter crying out "Lord, save me".

Elder Bednar said in his April 2015 conference talk that "This potent emotion (fear) is an important element of our mortal existence."  Why?  So we can learn how to rely on the Savior.  We can hush our fears by calling out to the Savior to save us.  Elder Bednar reminds  "Can we hush the fears that so easily and frequently beset us in our contemporary world?  The answer to this question is an unequivocal yes."

So if this commandment to 'fear not' is impossible to obey with my own knowledge, ability or will power,  I must call on my Savior to be lifted up from Satan's hard pushes, forces, coercion, threatening, intimidating pressures to knock me down with fear--even on something so inconsequential as making someone wait a few minutes.  I can only be rescued, guided, helped, taught or divinely directed how to hush my fears that debilitate me by constantly calling out "Lord, save me".  Fear may be a force.  But faith is power.

In my mind's eye, during that revelatory moment in my prayer, I heard the Savior saying "You cannot walk on water with your own ability. But I can. Come, let me teach you, fear not.  We'll walk in faith together."

Elder Clark said "When we look forward with the eye of faith and take righteous actions, divine light and power flow into our lives."  (I love that word much more than force.)  "In the strength of the Lord we can meet all challenges, set doubt aside and take no counsel from our fears."

"Look unto me in every thought.  Doubt not, fear not."  D&C 6:36

Menus and Meal Planning

Pretty much my whole life, I've had a menu list on my fridge of food ideas for the month. I would shop for the entire month and then pick a main dish to make each day depending on my time and mood.  I thought it worked quite well, comparatively speaking.

And then Caleb started running cross country and wanted to eat pasta the night before each race AND the night before that.  With a race each week or so, I had to start planning specifically so we didn't have to eat spaghetti 8 times a month--which up to that point in my cooking career was about my only pasta option (not really, but kinda close--I'm not a huge pasta fan).  So to get me around that roadblock, I started planning specifically what we would eat each night.

It was such a different way for me to think about menu planning and  it was so overwhelming at first so I went to weekly meal plans instead of a monthly list.  Eventually, I realized how much easier my life was to have that part of it planned out in advance that I started working toward doing it for a month at a time. I don't love shopping (detest might be a better word) so shopping weekly about did me in. But I also realized how much I loved having an exact plan so I had to figure out how to marry the two plans.  At first it took me 6 or so hours to plan menus for a month, and sometimes I would work on it across a few days, but with practice, I've become much better and can do it in a couple of hours.  Planning meals this way has blessed my life so much because it eliminates the emotionally draining question of the day: "What should I make for dinner?"  It also allows me a specific plan to provide a home-cooked, mostly nutritious meal to gather my family in the evening.  For the most part, dinner is non-negotiable at our house-- but, I like to think that my kids don't like to miss it.  (Presumptuous?  Maybe... :)

To make my menu plan work, I begin by putting my calendar in my menu planner--a very sophisticated grid notebook.  That way I can work around busy days and plan meals that I will have time to pull off each day. Then I make a list of dinner foods I want to make that month.  I put ones that require little effort on the really busy days and then I put the ones that have vegetables that perish quickly towards the first of the month.  I put the ones with longer lasting veggies towards the end of the month until I have every day filled in.  I also try to fill in the breads, sides, salads etc. that I will need to go along with the main dish.  (In the past, I didn't ever do more than a main dish, but I've found with big eaters if I want any leftovers for lunches, I need to plan sides.  Doing that is kind of a pain, but it makes it work so much better.) Then I put reminders on my phone to know the days I need to take the chicken, fish etc. out of the freezer so they can defrost in the fridge.  I also add reminders to make breads, chop veggies or other things that need to be done in advance.

This probably sounds like a crazy way to do things to most people.  It sounds crazy to me, but it blesses my life SO much. For me it has become a great way to manage keeping a family well fed, especially as my life has gotten extremely busier than it used to be. I wake up in the morning knowing exactly what needs to be done to pull off dinner that night and I plan my day around it.

One of my biggest motivators for cooking over the years has been my teen boys.  One thing I've found is that the old adage (with a twist) is true:  The way to a teenage boy's heart is through his stomach.  I've found my teen boys are much more amiable and great to be around if they are well fed. My meals often cater to the most potentially-grumpy teen and their preferences, because I've also found another twisted adage to be true:  if the teenager is happy, then everyone is happy.  Thus, keeping teens fed with food they like (but also a measure of nutrition--requirement of the mom) is very important to me.  It is a powerful way to gather and nurture.

Here are a few images of how this works for me:

This is the first page in my menu planner.  I like to look back and see how this process has grown and evolved.  The cut portion on the right is where I keep a current grocery list and where I write down what needs to be purchased as I make menus.  Originally, I took that cut off piece as my shopping list.  Since then, I've put it on the computer so I can categorize the items per my shopping route in the stores.  On the left I write the date and menus then to the right (next to cut cut portion) I record what I have coming up in the month before I plan so I know what I have to work around.  

I love that I can go back and look at what we've eaten over the years.  It gives me ideas for meals each month and also a picture of how our eating/food preferences change over time.  I've really grown to love this method of thinking about food. 

This is the left side of the notebook.  Each month after I put my calendar on the right side, I start a list of food we'd like to eat that month.  After I have them all recorded, I start plugging them into the month.  I usually ask for input from others in the family, sometimes they have input, sometimes they don't.  If we ever plan to eat out (rare, and in actuality, the kids don't like to eat out, unless it is nicer restaurant) it goes into the planner as well.  This month, it looks like we were going to eat at Chick-fil-A so we could go visit Caleb while at work--such a rare, rare thing for us.  A funny thing:  one time we were out of town and our dinner plan fell through.  Tom and I decided we'd stop at a local joint and get pizza.  The kids all started whining and grumping something serious  "I'ts going to be sssooooo gross!  We don't want to eat out."  I just laughed.  Poor doomed kids.  

A more recent version.  It has been a blessing to have this in place as I've become much busier. 

Cooking and recipes are always a work in progress.  I often reprint recipes as I revise them when I've got them more to my liking.  This one, however, I think I'll always use like this since it came from an email from my sister, Katie.

Another example of ever-evolving recipes.  This is one I devised myself in efforts to remove as much processed food from our diet as I can. Even after the first time, it was quite good, but I usually can't leave well enough alone.  As you can see I still make notes and tweaks and changes, many of these changes have been over time.  At some point I'll reprint it with my most recent methods.   Just to note, since I made the comment about processed foods,  over time I've started serving this without corn chips and I'm just as well liked as without them :).  I usually just serve it with avocados, tomatoes, green onions, cilantro, sour cream and cheese. 

Another tweaking example.  They always happen over time.  Obviously I'm a pretty messy cook!  I don't keep things in sheet protectors because it is such a pain to pull them out when I want to make notes (all the time!).  When they get so bad that I can't read them, I'll reprint them with my tweaks.

PS.  Don't tell me how weird I am...I already know!

All in an Afternoon's Read

 I can't be quite sure, but I think it might have been a boring book??

Playing Offense!

A great analogy has been forming in my mind the past few months.  At our Stake's Zone conference in January, Elder Nemrow (the Sr. missionary who oversees all of the Sr. couples in our mission and who was just called as an Area Seventy) said something to the effect:  "We spend so much of our time playing defense.  We do so many things to try to keep the adversary out of our lives such as Internet filters, time locks on media etc. etc. --and we should. But we should also spend a great deal of time playing offense.  And missionary work is playing offense.  It naturally wards off the adversary."

So I've been thinking about playing offense versus defense.  Here are some thoughts I've had:  When we are just trying to cope with what life is throwing at us, we are playing defense.  When we don't have a plan, we fumble the ball.  When we take offense, we throw an interception.  When we speak unkindly, we don't get a first down.  Here are some other things I've thought of that put us on defense:  selfishness, pride, wasting time, procrastinating, thinking negative thoughts about ourselves or others, being unkind, not forgiving, blaming, taking things personally, allowing ourselves to be sidetracked, comparing ourselves to others etc. and etc.

On the other hand, offensive practices are things like having a plan, giving service, using time wisely, praying, attending the temple, forgiving, repenting, studying the scriptures, family history work, ministering, acting charitably, acting better than we feel like acting, taking responsibility for our problems etc.

So an application of that principle in my everyday life as a mother could look something like this:  a day spent on defense--I don't begin my scripture study with prayer and I just read to read.  No objective is focused on and met.  I don't have a breakfast plan, the kids wake up very hungry then grump or cry because they don't like the default breakfast of toast or oatmeal.  This wears on me because I haven't geared up sufficiently spiritually so I do not exercise patience and act grumpy as well.  Defense!  When I get them off to school and I have so many things to do, but because the morning was a bit wearing I tell myself I need a slight break so I look at blogs and then the news etc. and soon much of my time to accomplish many things is used up.  So when the kids come home from school, I try to squeeze in my things while they need me.  I try to ward off their needs by telling them to get to work.  They don't respond to that well so they get frustrated with me and can't focus on their homework. I don't need to go on. . .

But if I have a plan and I follow it, and if, into part of that plan is time to meet individual needs as they arise and to respond to those needs with love, I am playing offense.  If I have a plan for the day and stick to it as much as I can,then, when (not if!) something unexpected happens that throws me into defense, I'm able to have the emotional stamina to get to work and figure a way to get back on offense.

The great offensive coordinator (Heavenly Father via the Spirit) calls the plays for the offense!  The other way, I'm listening way too much to the great defensive coordinator (Satan) and that never turns out well. Chandler explained to us this week that defense is what is trying to get you to not accomplish your goal.  We read about Alma this week slaying Amlici.  I pictured Alma fighting a bit defensively until he prayed to have his life spared so he could be an instrument in Heavenly Father's hands and then he was able to take control of the situation and play offense until the goal was attained.  (Note to self: praying for other people and to be of service are GREAT ways to play offensively!)  So my advice to myself this week:  Play offense! And as soon as I slip into defense, take responsibility for my part and get back on offense!

Temporal things also work out better when I play offense:  budgeting, meal planning, housework are a few examples.  For example, when an unexpected financial wrench is thrown, I can be thrown onto defense trying to figure out how to cope with that expense.  However, if I have a fund to cover those kinds of things, getting back on offense is pretty easy, If there is not a plan, I could stay on defense too long, which won't take long to wear me down in other areas.   I've noticed for myself, that if I stay on defense in one area of my life too long, it is a domino effect in other areas.  That makes getting back on offense more of a mountain than just a simple switch of gears.

So here's my note to myself:  Stay on offense!  Counsel with the Great Offensive Coordinator often! Plan and prepare so when I lose the ball, I am able to have the emotional stamina to pull myself back into offense.  Thank you Elder Nemrow for great food for thought!