I'm Thankful. . . .

That I have the opportunity to be a mom.

I get to clean up messes and potty train and manage clutter and do laundry and endure arguing kids and change diapers and wipe up fingerprints and listen to whining and take the brunt of hard-to-learn lessons and think of things to feed hungry people and listen to complaints when things don't go right and drive kids to and fro and never get enough sleep and to learn how to be nice even when I don't feel like it.

Because being a mom means I also get to witness cute little I'm-happy kicks from a baby, little girl giggles and squeals, big boy's hugs and late night chats and laughs. I get to see my kids succeed whether I'm there or not. I get to see them make good friends and show respect to teachers and leaders. I get to teach and mold and shape and do things that will hopefully make a difference in the life of people I'll never meet. I get endless opportunities to choose righteousness and happiness whatever the circumstances. And that is a lesson I need to learn often and deeply.

I'm thankful for Tom for letting me be a stay at home mom so I can send everyone off and welcome them when they come home to me. I'm finding it vitally important, especially with teenagers. I'm thankful that he supports me 100%. I'm thankful that he calls me everyday around 11:00 just to check on me. I'm thankful he is a listener. Boy is he a good listener! And he gives good advice when I want it. He tells me I'm cute and thanks me often for things I do. I'm thankful he is not a complainer. I'm thankful that he is consistent and stable.

I'm thankful for Cache. He is so smart. He keeps me on my toes and I have to watch my words so they don't come back and haunt me, but I've learned a lot from being his mom. I'm thankful that he is willing to participate in family things even when the draw to friends is so much stronger. I'm thankful that he is obedient. He is always very respectful even when he feels otherwise. So thankful for him.

I'm thankful for Caleb. Honestly I don't know what I would do without him. He is my life saver with Tessa. Not only is he willing to help out when I ask, but he notices when I'm at the end of my rope and comes to my rescue. A true angel he has been! I'm thankful he is motivated to earn money. That is it a good quality for a future provider, but because of it, I also get a lot of jobs done around the house! I'm thankful that he is conscientious about his school work and is very sensitive to friends and those who need a friend.

I'm thankful for Chandler. He is my sweet, tenderhearted one. He gives lots of hugs and tells me too nice of things. I am thankful he loves family histories. I'm thankful that he loves me to read them to him (because it has helped my heart turn to my fathers) and it gives us nice quiet times together at the end of the day. He is also my sensitive one who notices when I need a lift and he reaches out to me. I'm thankful that he is detail oriented. I notice a lot of things with him around that I would miss otherwise. I'm thankful he is such a smart boy too.

I'm thankful for Tessa. I'm thankful for her light and energy and spirit! Although she often wears me out, she is such a delight. I'm thankful for her outgoing nature because I've gotten to know people I would not have otherwise (somehow everyone in the ward knows Tessa--even teenage boys). And I'm thankful for her little daily reminders that I need to mother with intention. What I do matters and she has taught me this more than any of my other kids.

I'm thankful for Greta. I'm thankful she is so good natured. I really needed her to be that way. Her light and spirit have also brought an outpouring of personal revelation into my life that I would not have known otherwise. I'm thankful that she is a cuddler. I love that she can be kissed to sleep! (When I put her down for a nap, I take off her pollies and we have a bit of cuddle time with lots of kisses. She eats it up and when she is really tired, she starts dozing off with the kisses. It is the cutest thing ever!) And I'm thankful that she wears cute pink glasses. This little challenge has taught me in a small way about losses, mourning and compensation.

I'm thankful that I had the opportunity to write the Primary program this year and to memorize the Proclamation. Through those two things I have become more aware of my role as a mother and of my mission and of its importance in the big eternal plan. I'm thankful for that beautiful knowledge.

I'm so blessed.

Delightful and Pink

Those are the two words that describe today. This morning Tess opened up a cute pink sweat set (she loves those!) and an ironing board. Then she and I played 'laundry'. She was thrilled. Tonight we had pink cake, pink ice cream and had a few more gifts. You can see from the pictures that she was filled with glee!Fun times. And I can't believe she is 3! (just for record keeping sake: The 2T clothes we bought her were taken back to exchange for 18 months. That girl is just so so petite.)

Sweet

This cute little thing adorned Tessa's bedroom door this morning. (click to read) Love how birthdays bring out the tenderness in my boys.

Christmas Card Question

I would love to hear your thoughts on this.

I feel that since I keep a blog I don't need (but probably don't want) to write a little family update to put in my Christmas cards. Last year being pregnant and looking for a way out of work I just put my blog address in our Christmas cards. (Yes, tacky I know.) However, everyone I send cards to doesn't read my blog even when they have the address, so maybe they would enjoy an update, then again, maybe that is why they don't read my blog! On the other hand, there are quite a few people who are (unlucky?) recipients of my cards who do read my blog and they probably don't want to read the same old stuff they've read all year. I like to make my Christmas cards so that is where I put most of my effort and by the time I'm done, writing something brief and hopefully humorous or clever is often more than I can put out during the Christmas season. So what's your vote? Little newsy update or not? What do you other bloggers do?

More Polly Woes

It's been a hard week. Very hard. Last Saturday Greta's glasses broke. The little wire in the cable snapped. While I was able to slide the pink piece back on and make them somewhat functional, pulling them off suddenly became easier. A game almost. And with the broken cable, I couldn't use the band to keep them on nor could I get them to stay up on her little nose. So when she had them on, she looked like a grandma, according to my kids anyway. And nose-sliding glasses seemed to make her crazy which caused her to pull them off even more. It was a *constant* battle. Picture this typical scenario: Mom gets baby settled in the high chair ready for lunch. She puts the pollies back on (which by the way, is never an easy task on a wiggly baby even when the glasses are in good repair) and immediately spoons up a little bite of fruit. The second she looks up, Greta has the pollies in her hand. The spoon goes down and the pollies get put back on. The next time Mom gets a bite in and takes one glance around the room to make sure big sister is out of mischief, looks back and this time the pollies are hanging precariously over the tile on a little finger. This time, Mom is lucky and saves the pollies in the nick of time. She puts them back in place again. If Mom is lucky she gets in two bites before she has to replace the pollies, but she isn't often lucky. . . Nor is she ever lucky if big sister's antics need intervention.

So you can see why big brothers were handed a baby as soon as they walked in from school and told their job was to keep the pollies on while I ran and did a few basic things like go to the bathroom and wash a dish or two.

The new piece finally arrived today and I drove to SLC to get them fixed. I'm so glad to have them back in working order, fitting snugly and new tighter straps to help keep them on (the straps loosen with use and lose their effectiveness). However, now she's got terrible, terrible habits of pulling them off, but hopefully things easier than this past week. (they can't be much worse, right?)

You are probably asking why I even bothered keeping her glasses on when it was such a hassle. Well, it has been impressed upon my mind how important these glasses are to her--the habits she develops in them now will influence so much of her future use of them and her proper growth and development depend on good glasses wearing habits. And since developmentally she is already slightly behind, it is my top priority to help her catch up and keep up. (Words cannot describe how THRILLED I was this week when she started patty caking on her own!) So it was important to me to be vigilant even when they were broken. And she was fussy without them.

* * * * * * * *

This post seems to be a perfectly good spot to record the challenges of having a baby in glasses. I've been going to post this because in the years ahead, I know I'll forget some of the daily little things we deal with.
1) The pollies have to come off then go back on for: rides in the car (because if she turns her head too much, they will get bent out of shape and I need to be able to trust that she'll leave them on--it's important that she doesn't think they are a toy); multiple naps and clothing changes (thankfully, though, we are mostly over the blowouts); and after most meals and snacks (for cleaning). Like I said earlier, they are not really easy to get on and off. And I really think that each time you take them off and put them back on, you are adding wear to them.
2) Putting your head on mommy's shoulder is hard. (sad, huh.)
3) When you cuddle and kiss her, you're likely to get bonked with glasses.
4) They cause a few problems when rolling over.
5) She pulls them off. And you can't reason with her. Even with a two year old you could set a timer for 20 minutes and give a reward if they are kept on. But when an 8 month old constantly pulls them off, you put them back on and there is nothing you can say to change that. Keeping her distracted is the thing we find works the best, but that doesn't always work nor is that always possible. (and like I said, hopefully this gets better this week.)

A few other notes: the pollies weigh just over 1/2 pound (9 oz.) If you look closely at the picture above, you can see how thick they really are. One lens is about 1/4" thick!

The two questions we are asked the most is "How do you know a baby needs glasses?" And "Does she keep them on?

Legacy of Faith

In the crazy of the morning to get to church today I felt a sudden need to run and look up my Great Grandma Call. I didn't know why it seemed so important. Quickly I read the little vignette about her by my Grandma Bingham, her oldest daughter, that I've read so many times before about her losing 5 little sons in a 12 year time period. And then I found the family group sheet. After a little age calculation, I suddenly knew why it was so important. When she lost her last little baby she was the same age as me. Instantly the reality of her difficult life hit me hard. By my age she had lost as many children as I have! I cried a bit and was grateful for her strength and what she passed down to me through my grandma and then my mom. I have had some difficult losses in my life, but none compare to hers. I'm thankful she forged through the very difficult days to leave me such a legacy of faith. Here is a picture followed by the little vignette by my grandma.

Solace

Why? Why? Why? Where have we failed? What did we do wrong?

As the sorrowing mother and father stood close together, looking down at the small casket about to be lowered into Mother Earth answers to their questions refused to come.

Had this been the first small son to part with perhaps it would be easier to understand. But their gaze wandered to four small graves, side by side; each one bringing a stab of pain at the remembrance of parting with each precious son.

The gospel meant so much at this time, with its reassurance of a happy reunion! Loved ones and friends were all so thoughtful and kind. It helped remembering the beautiful blessing given by the Stake President; some had felt the presence of angels in the room at the time!

Still, how does one part with one's tiny fourteen month old baby and not feel a yearning to be with him, to hold him in your aching arms? He had been such a comfort during the last six weeks; the hard weeks following the tragic accident and death of their darling three year old son.

Why, oh, why?

The days that followed were lonely, aching days for the brave little mother. Both babies taken from her and the other children in school. Time, which always passed so rapidly, now hung heavy on her hands. Her own dear father had passed away shortly after the death of her baby, and she missed him and the comfort he so lovingly bestowed.

Her husband valiantly carried on with his duties as bishop of the ward. She would not have it otherwise, for she supported and encouraged him to do so. Still it left her with endless, lonely hours and tears. Tears that seemed to never stop.

One night, almost in answer to prayer, she dreamed she was sitting at the bottom of a low rolling hill. As she looked up, she saw five small boys, hand in hand, dressed in gleaming white approaching her. She recognized them as her five departed sons.

Quickly she jumped to her feet, to gather them to her! They stopped and one of them said, "Mama, why do you cry so much? We cannot do our work because you do not sing anymore. Please sing again." Then they faded from her gaze.

Now awakened from sleep, the mother pondered her dream. Possessor of a beautiful soprano voice, she realized she hadn't sung for a long, long time. What was she doing to her dear departed ones? What about her own living children, vitally in need of her love and reassurance?

It wasn't easy. At first she sang through tears, but sing she did. Gradually her voice could be heard sweet and clear, singing praises to her Heavenly Father.

One of My Favorite Things in the World

is to help my kids with this kind of school project. I love the working-together time, love the planning, cutting, coloring and gluing and I love seeing the finished product. The sad thing is that these projects are becoming fewer and farther between. Teachers don't seem to assign this type of stuff much any more because parents are overloaded (at least I tried not to assign them too often for that reason way back when) and because they make use of technology for projects--which is a very good thing, but it just means I don't get to get to do one of my favorite things very much. So I'll relish when I get a chance. I loved last night!!

{This poster is for Ancient World History--Cache's assigned city is Troy, but he decided to make his poster with a pop culture theme. Note it even says Troy, Nevada! All of the lettering is cut out of cardstock and glued on. It turned out very cool looking.}

Sausage Ravioli Soup

I got this yummy recipe from my sister's ward cookbook. My family LOVES it then I took it to a RS function last night and had many people asking for the recipe, so here it is:

12 oz Italian sausage
1 onion, chopped
1 14 oz jar artichoke hearts (I chop them--my kids eat them better)
2 cans Italian diced tomatoes
5 cups water
5 beef bullion cubes
1 tsp Italian seasoning
1 package fresh cheese ravioli
2 small zucchinis, julienned (I omit these if I don't have them)
Parmesan cheese

Brown sausage with onions. Drain fat. Add remaining ingredients except ravioli and zucchini. Bring to a boil. Add ravioli and zucchini; cook until pasta is done. Top with shredded Parmesan cheese.

A few notes:
The original recipe called for 2 jars of artichoke hearts. I don't think you need two if you chop them. But if you LOVE artichoke hearts, go for two!

The original recipe calls for 4 cups of water/bullion, but I like it with a little more broth because by the time you are scooping from the bottom of the pot, there is very little broth left with only 4 cups.

Last night I used half sausage ravioli and half cheese ravioli. The sausage ones were not that good with it. I also like the fresh raviolis in this soup MUCH better than frozen.

A Few Gems

Last night as part of our FHE I had everyone fill out a "Thankful Questionnaire". I'm hoping that it will become a tradition and each year they can be added to a book and looked back over the years as a fun and interesting read. (hence the blog post to help me remember) The items on the list were

I'm thankful for Dad because (there was one for each member of our family)

Modern conveniences I'm most thankful for

Personal possession I'm most thankful for

Gospel principle I'm thankful for today

Event in the past year I'm most thankful for

Some of the answers will become even funnier over the years, but even as early as yesterday there were a few gems.

One child was particularly disgruntled the whole FHE. His answers were mostly quotes from the Proclamation. For example he wrote "Gospel principle I'm thankful for today is 'those who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God'." However, on the personal possession he was most thankful for he wrote 'cell phone' and 'mp3' then crossed them out (because he'd like to be thankful for them, but at this juncture we haven't deemed them necessary for him.) Then he wrote clothes and bed. Poor boy.

On the 'event in the past year' question, one child crossed out the word 'past' and replaced it with 'last three' then wrote 2006 BYU: 33 Utah: 31.

All three boys wrote something to the effect of "I'm awesome" on what they were thankful about themselves.

One person wrote that the modern convenience she is most thankful for is pink clothes.

And the gospel principle one person was most thankful for was nursery snacks. (now weren't those last two gems cryptic?)

All three boys made references to Tessa's VERY FUNNY prayer to begin FHE. As many of you know, when we read the For Strength of Youth pamphlet each day, "Tom says 'Open to (name of a person).' to tell us which page to open to. (See here BTW, Tom has thought of a few new look-alikes so I've added them to that post.) Well, in Tessa's prayer she manifested that she has been paying attention during scripture reading. She blessed each member of our family except me, then went on to grandparents, (uncle) Justin, then out of the blue: "And please bless Greg Chandler." Okay! We all busted up. It was out of control. I finally squeaked out an 'Amen'. At least it gave her brothers a reason to be thankful for her.

Although there was grumbling about this little thankful exercise, hopefully over time it will prove fun and maybe even beneficial. Time will tell.

Rewards

Verbal rewards in motherhood are often few and far between, but I've had a couple in the last little bit. In my book that merits recording! (mostly so I have something to look back on to remind me that at least some of the time I do a few things right :).

---Child walks in after school and says: "Oh! The house smells so good (baking) and it is so clean." (Obviously this isn't always so otherwise it wouldn't have been noticed!--but it was so nice to be noticed.)

---After I walked in from a meeting:
Me: How were things here?
Child: Not that good.
Me: (a bit alarmed) Why? What happened?
Child: Nothing.
Me: Then why was it so bad?
Child: It's just better when you're here.

---After trying to make arrangements for something with an adult female (scout related) and having a bit of a struggle:
Mom, I'm so glad you're not a busy mom. It's good to have you available. (I had to clarify for myself and he meant busy with lots of obligations outside of the home.)

---I also have one son who is quite consistent in thanking me for meals and telling me that he enjoyed them.

Gives me hope that all the small things are adding up to something worthwhile.