Sacrifice

It has been a hard week. It started on Monday at 2 AM when Greta started with tummy aches (since she's been such a good baby with little reaction to things I've eaten I decided to try peanuts; the very bad news food for two of my babies and it proved to be bad news for her too). I held her and calmed her pretty much until 2 PM that day. On that much sleep, keeping up with a busy Tessa was about more than I could cope with, especially while holding a sensitive baby. Then Monday night after FHE, Tess threw up. The vomiting continued quite frequently through the night resulting in another sleepless night. The next day brought listlessness and fussiness, with vomiting off and on. This pattern continued until Saturday. At one point in the week we were getting calls from the Dr.'s office about every hour to check on her, watching for dehydration and trying to avoid having to pump her with fluids with an IV. Thankfully we got through that. The other issue we faced was her not eating much or holding anything significant down from Monday PM to Saturday AM. (as of today she still is not eating well and is quite fussy) For a girl who is already on the severely small side, that is pretty scary. So between caring for her and a newborn, sleep this week has been fairly nonexistent. On multiple occasions I wondered if I could keep going. . . wishing things were different also crossed the threshold of my thoughts. And I felt sorry for myself a few times too often.

Then in the wee hours Friday morning a beautiful epiphany entered my semi-consciousness. I sat up enlightened. The words that brought solace were "Sacrifice brings forth the blessings of heaven". They were followed by the words from the temple ceremony about sacrifice. The thought of this being the sacrifice being required of me at the moment put things into a different perspective for me. Instead of this being something to survive, it suddenly became a way for me to prove to Heavenly Father that I would do all that I could for Him and the little ones He has entrusted to me. It became a way for me to show my willingness to submit my will to His.

As I've read a little more about sacrifice the past couple of days some quotes have jumped out at me.
From a talk by Elder Ballard:
Sacrifice allows us to learn something about ourselves—what we are willing to offer to the Lord through our obedience.

President Spencer W. Kimball once explained to a young man struggling with his testimony that effort and struggle are necessary if we are to be saved through Jesus Christ. He told my friend, “Through sacrifice and service one comes to know the Lord.” As we sacrifice our selfish desires, serve our God and others, we become more like Him.

Elder Russell M. Nelson has taught: “We are still commanded to sacrifice, but not by shedding blood of animals. Our highest sense of sacrifice is achieved as we make ourselves more sacred or holy. “This we do by our obedience to the commandments of God. Thus, the laws of obedience and sacrifice are indelibly intertwined. … As we comply with these and other commandments, something wonderful happens to us. … We become more sacred and holy—[more] like our Lord!”

From another talk by Elder Ballard:
Sacrifice is a demonstration of pure love. The degree of our love for the Lord, for the gospel, and for our fellowman can be measured by what we are willing to sacrifice for them.

From President Benson:
To sacrifice, serve with your time and means to build the kingdom of God on earth. Opportunities to lose oneself for the good of others present themselves daily: the mother who serves her children’s needs; the father who gives his time for their instruction; parents who give up worldly pleasure for quality home life; children who care for their aged parents; home teaching service; visiting teaching . . . . Truly, the day of sacrifice is not past. President Harold B. Lee said, “I [am] persuaded of one great truth: Whenever the Lord has a great blessing for one of his children, he puts that son or daughter in the way to make a great sacrifice.”

In light of all of that, it really is okay that I got very little sleep, that I had recycled hairdos all week, that I missed the Pinewood Derby, that I got very little crossed off on my to do list, that I didn't get to go to Sacrament meeting or to present my sharing time today (which is something I truly enjoy because I love teaching the gospel--thanks Louise for understanding and filling in), and the list could go on. All that matters is that I'm ready and willing to sacrifice my will to His.

1 Month Comparisons

Tess at 1 month Greta at 1 month (a little chubbier)TessGreta (thus far has been able to avoid the baby acne)I think they look like sisters!

Pink!

Here are just a few things Tess has asked for as of late:
Pink Truck
Pink Camping Gear
Pink Couches
Pink Sucker
Pink Kite
Pink Popsicle
Pink Car
Pink Ice Cream
Pink Downstairs
Pink Church Bag
Pink Stroller
Pink Typewriter (how many two year olds are asking for one of these???)

Then a conversation from today as we drove past Chandler's school:
Tess: There's Chandler's school!!!
Me: Yes, there it is. And when you turn 5, it will be your school too.
Tess: No!!! I want a PINK school! And a pink back pack.

See a trend??

On Naming Greta

This post has been swimming around in my brain for a month and it is time I finally get it recorded. (this is really long and exposes my weirdness but I'm writing for my own records so don't feel obligated to give your time to reading the whole thing!) Also sorry for no pictures. . .I'm a big fan of long posts with pictures (and short ones too, but most especially long ones), but I haven't had the time to photograph lots and lots to get some good ones. Gotta somehow fit that in to my busy life. . .

After the ultrasound determined we were having a girl, name lists were started with possible names for this baby. Tom and I were both to scour baby name websites and put any name we even sort of liked on the list. Simple enough. However, I had to complicate the matter with some rules:
1. The name had to have 2 syllables or less (tripped over too many long names as a teacher and didn't want to as a mother).
2. It couldn't be or sound similar or remind me of or be associated with any naughty kid I ever taught or knew. (there in eliminates a whole sea of names)
3. It couldn't be too popular because I didn't want her to have to go by "Greta W." (or whatever) in school. So that meant it couldn't be on the top 100 or so of the Social Security name list.
4. It couldn't start with J or P or a few other select letters (see Consideration #2 below)
5. It couldn't be similar to any existing cousin names.
6. And you had to be able to read it, say it and spell it without too much difficulty (translation: not too weird).

Consideration #2: The middle name. For the longest time, even before we knew we were having a girl, we felt that we should name this baby after Tom's Grandma Gibb (who has an amazing history). Her name was Estella. There in created a problem because if the middle name starts with a vowel, you have to be careful that the initials don't spell an unwanted word. During the whole thing we were open to different options for the middle name, but none struck as right so we had to work with that kink.

And thus were the considerations as we started making name lists. After a few months of scouring, Tom had a good, long (and respectable in his opinion :) list, only to have me read it and diminish it to zero in less than 2 minutes. Poor guy. And on my list after all that time, there wasn't a single name. No kidding. (I promise I tried!)

We decided we needed a new approach. We sat down together in the evenings staying up WAY past our bed time going over name after name. Eventually we added about 10 or so names to the list. (Yes, that number, for me, is quite shocking.) But as we gave thought to those names and slept on them, many were slowly were eliminated because we realized the shorts were too similar to a cousin's name or they rhymed with something unpleasant, the popularity was too high or too low or some other random reason.

Near the end we had 3 names in consideration. However, we had issues with each name. During the days before Greta was born we sat down each evening and tried to hammer something out. We looked for more names, revisited the names on our list and reconsidered some we had eliminated. Nothing changed. And thus it was when we went to the hospital.

(just a note here, I don't like to tell people the names that are in consideration before the birth because seeing or hearing people's reactions effect the way I view a name. . . and as it is most difficult for me to settle on a name anyway, I don't need other people's opinions to complicate the matter. . . however, this time around we have told a few people the other names in consideration after Greta was born and I have regretted it because of their reactions, so for this post you get generic labels for the other names.)

Name A: This name sounded best with the middle name and for that reason was the one I was leaning towards the most. My issues: I didn't like the short for it and it was too popular for my tastes.

Name B: I love, love, loved this name for quite a few weeks during the pregnancy, but it didn't sound good at all with the middle name. Tom didn't like it that much. The short is quite popular even though the given name was not common at all.

Name C (Greta): This name was probably on the 'think about' list for the longest. I didn't really like it that much. . . just didn't hate it so it stayed on the list. My issues with it: It has the same vowel pattern as Tessa and would cause me to mix up the names (and unfortunately this has happened), it didn't sound super flowy with the middle name and I didn't really love it.

What to do???

The first time I held Greta I just stared at her feeling so so confused because I didn't know her name. Immediately I knew it wasn't Name A and Tom agreed 100%. (At least we both eliminated the same name on our own!) I liked Name B better, but it didn't seem to fit very well. After holding her for about a half hour I knew it wasn't Name B either. That left us with Name C. I really didn't want that name. Really. Kind of a hard moment because I knew how hard it had been to arrive at the 3 names we had and I knew finding yet another name would next to impossible. So I accepted it as the name and went forward.

Funny thing. . . more than any of my other children it settled on me as the right name in such a strong way. . . . I have to say even in a very spiritual kind of way on multiple occasions. I guess I have needed that since I didn't feel strongly about it before. Now, a month later, I love her name and there has only been 2 smallish moments of doubts (which I understand are common even for a normal person who doesn't have such difficulty naming children).

And that I mix her name up with Tessa's. . . well, with my muddled brain, I probably would do that anyway without any similarities at all. And what can you do when it is the right name? You do it anyway and love it!

Pinewood Derby Car

The pinewood derby season starts off with my smart husband telling the car building boy that they are going to make a cool car and not a fast car. Under these circumstances anything goes design wise since speed is the last concern. So we let our imaginations go wild when brainstorming possibilities. This year Chandler decided to make a football field (and anyone who knows him, knows that no other design could have fit more perfectly). It turned out awesome. Don't you think? I think we have way more fun building these kinds of cars than one designed to be the fastest. Of course at the weigh-ins, we got a range of reactions:
Boy 1: "That car is so not going to win."
Us: "We know, we didn't design it to. We just wanted it to look cool."
Another boy: "Does that car even go?"
Us: "Yes, we tried it out and it goes just fine."
Boy 1 again: "This part (referring to one of the bleachers) is going to slow it down."
Us: "We don't care. We just wanted a cool car."
Leader: "Wow, this is cool, can I put it on Facebook?"When it only weighed 4.8oz (the maximum weight is 5 oz) we had offers to help get more weight on it. We declined because we *really* didn't make a car to win a race, we made it so Chandler has some fun memories of building a car how he really wanted and has a fun keepsake.

Wanna know Chandler's only issue with it? "The Titans don't really have a blue endzone." LOL

Overdue

I realize the time for a new post is long overdue and many of you have probably given up on me. . . Of course I have a gazillion posts in mind and sadly 99% of them won't happen. Real life has hit and blogging has taken back seat. I have to admit that adding child #5 has been extremely exhausting and soul stretching and humbling and rewarding. Life is super busy, but good. Here is a little photo journalism from the past three weeks. (Believe me, I do realize, that I have 5 children instead of the two shown in the following pictures, however, the other 3 do not allow photographs nearly as much nor are doing things that say "take a picture of this!" as much as these two. . . but watch for a cool pinewood derby car post soon!)

My mom took Tess for a few days after Greta was born but I still got to experience her silliness and energy through Skype. I was glad. We got a Flat Stanley (but better: Flat Isaac) the same day we brought Greta home. So instead of seeing the sights of our city, he got to help with all the new born stuff. . . including making birth announcements with me. (Sorry, Isaac, we're pretty boring people!) (and apologies to those of you who are normally on my birth announcement list. . . but I was so busy before the birth with the Blossoms blog, I only made enough for immediate family)This is just a documentary photo of how small they come! The car seat looks ginormous to her!Thankfully Greta has been a very good baby (other than she still has her days and nights mixed up) and has slept and slept and slept and slept. So sweet.You can just see a mellow look in her eyes. Many prayers of gratitude have been sent to heaven because of her easy going nature. I really needed her to be this way.While I've been busy feeding a baby, Tess has had a little more 'free time'. . . and she has taken full advantage. Just a few of her escapades: slathering a gluestick on her lips, having a quest to get a vent cover into the microwave, climbing to the top rung of a 12ft ladder, scaling the pantry shelves . . . Sally sent a couple of outfits that Tess demanded were hers. I finally gave in and let her try on the 3-6 month one. Here is how it fit: (yet strangely compared to Greta, she seems HUGE!)
Greta on her 2 week check up day. She weighed 7lbs. 1 oz. Funny how much bigger she looked to us yet she is still smaller than most newborns.
Despite the exhaustion, still trying to be a good mom and do a fun St. Patrick's day meal. We had Corned Beef and Cabbage (new to all of us, and unexpectedly enjoyed by everyone!), a green drink concoction (nonalcoholic of course!), rainbow cupcakes, green apples, pickles and chips (everyone got to choose one item to add to the meal that was either green, rainbow or gold coin themed. . . the chips were gold coins)My mom asked me to make a few journals for her. . .The other day Tess had on her sunglasses and I wanted to get a picture, but she kept running away from the camera. . . I felt like the paparazzi. Here's the best shot I got.
Been trying to bake a bit so the boys feel loved by having an after school snack. . . had some chocolate frosting left over. . . The plan was to dip the animal cookies in the frosting, but Tess had a different idea (of course). Notice the pulled out hairdo and lack of skirt/pants. . . at least she had a shirt and onesie on, which considering how often she's taken all of it off the last few weeks is quite remarkable.I'll end with one Tessaism from this week: As I was singing "I Am a Child of God" to Greta, Tess had a fit. "NO!!! That is my song!" Thankfully that is the only bit of jealousy we have witnessed.

Much more to write, but this will have to do! Thanks for still checking in on me!